School Crack: Death Note
by AbyssQueen
Summary: what would happen if the Death Note gang was introduced to my 7th grade science class? THE HORROR! -BWAHAHAHA, IT WILL BE CONTINUED! ...but it's also now school & not just 7th grade & science class .-. - WARNING: Script format!
1. Science 2nd Period

**A/N: I apologize, but I had major WB on One Step Beyond, & I was uber bored. Plus I'm gonna be gone like all next week so I wanted to post this so CERTAIN PEOPLE didn't track me down skin me alive e-e" You see, it might be a bit traumatic for my cousin. Either that or she'd burst out laughing. But whatever.**

**Everyone except Mrs. Stephens (teacher,) Mr. Kraft (principal,) Watari, & the task force are, like, 12-14 in this. HOORAY FOR THE MAGIC OF FFs! :D Oh, Edward & Alucard are whatever age they are too... (...spoiler :/)**

**EDIT: Also, QueenOfAshes wanted me to make a note that we brainstormed a little together on da phone before I wrote this, & that she may have come up with a few of the ideas used in this fic. So if she uses any of them in hers, she's not "stealing" ;P ...so yeah. Give her some credit, people.**

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><p>Mrs. Stephens: blah blah blah science crap blah blah blah<p>

Mr. Kraft: Hey yeah sorry for interrupting your class but we've got a shitload of new students & this is the "smart class" & they're all either geniuses, dumbasses, or super old so they're in here.

Mrs. Stephens: ...But we've already got like 30 students...

Dexter: 34 :D

Everyone: STFU DEXTER

Mr. Kraft: Yeah I know... BAI. *walks away, revealing new students*

*Watari, Soichiro, Aizawa, L, Mello, Matt, Near, Matsuda, Takada, Light, Misa, & Mikami walk in, in that order*

Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, & Ariel (me): *LE GASP*

Aiden: Oh god... Please don't tell me those are...

Ariel: STFU AIDEN OF COURSE THEY ARE :D *starts stabbing Aiden with my pen*

Mary: Who the hell are they? *trollface*

Jacqueline: WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE :D *points to Watari* That's Watari. He's oldddddddddddddddddddddd.

Watari: WTFLOL.

Ashley: *points* That's Soichiro. His mustache will kick your ass, so beware.

Soichiro's mustache: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 8)

Ariel: That's Aizawa & his CANNIBALISTIC AFROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Aizawa's afro: *to Soichiro's mustache* Yo, what up?

Soichiro's mustache: Meh, just Chuck Norrising some 3 year old.

Aizawa's afro: Cool. *eats Ukita's dead body*

Jacqueline: That's L, also known as Good Noodle, Sad Panda, & L-Kitten :D

L: WTFH I'm not called any of those O.o

Ariel: YEAHYOUARE & that's Mello, also known as Tinkerbell-

Mello: *drops chocolate bar* WHAT THE FUCK?

Ariel: Marshmello-

Mello: *eyetwitch*

Ariel: & Mels :D

Mello: ...

David: Hehe, he looks like a girl-

Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, Ariel: NO DAVID. BAAAD DAVID.

Mello: *shoots David*

Ariel: & that's Matt *points* A.K.A. Matty & Cuddleboy

Matt: *looks up from DS* wait WHAT?

Mallory: & that's Near... *point* MR. WHITE FLUFF, THE SOCK SHEEP

Near: *looks up from making MelloxMatt yaoi with his hand puppets* ...w.t.h.?

Jacqueline: THAT'S MATSUDA, AKA MATSOOOO-CHAN :D

Matsuda: LOOK I'MA TRAIN CHOOO CHOOOOO *train motions around classroom*

Ashley: ...*point* That's Takada. She's a whore.

Takada: I do not belie-

Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, Ariel: STFU TAKADA NO ONE CARES

Jacqueline: *points* & that's Misa! She's me only slutastic! :D

Misa: OMG I love your shirt!

Jacqueline: :D & I love your hair!

Light: Hey don't I get an introduction?

L: You don't like being ignored, therefor you are childish and indeed Kira.

Light: BULLSHIT DX I am not Kira!

Mallory: ... Nope. You're Kira. L, he's Kira. So's Misa. & Mikami. & Takada.

Light: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL MALLORY? ...And why do I know your name? O.o"

Ashley: EVERYONE LIGHT IS KIRA! KIRA IS GODDDDDD! Oh & that's Light ^-^ *points*

Jacqueline: & L IS JUSTICE! ...OR THE OTHER WAY AROUND, IT'S COMPLICATED!

L: ...

Ariel: Oh & that's Mikami :D He haz epic hair... & a lazarrrr pen. :D

Mikami: *to Light* GOD? :D

Rachel (an 8th grader): *runs into our class from her classroom* OMG NEAR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU *glomp*

Near: O.O WTFH DX

Hannah (another 7th grader not in our class): *runs in* :D ...wait, no BB? D:

BB: *walks in behind her*

Jacqueline, Mallory, Ashley, Ariel, Hannah, Rachel: :DDDDDDDD

Hannah: 'TIS BB! OR JUST B! OR BEYOND BIRTHDAY! OR BEYOND! OR RUE RYUZAKI! :DDDDDD

BB: O.o

Max: *is making origami knives... in the middle of class. Yeah, he does that.*

BB: Can I have one of those? 8)

Max: *childish voice* They're 50 cents :3

BB: D:= GIVE IT TO ME

Max: D: NO D:

BB: ...*takes it & laughs creepily*

Max: DDD':

Mia (another 8th grader): *walks in* *Brittish accent* Thi' i' awesum, eh chaps?

Madison (follows her in): L :D I HAVE A PLUSHIE OF YOU :D

L: e-e"

Mia & Ariel: *fighting over Mello & Matt*

Mello & Matt: ...

Zack (who lived in Japan for like 5 years): *to Light* Hey... Have I seen you before?

Light: O.o um...

Jacqueline: ROSEMARY! You know Light? He's from Death Note, it's an anime! :D

Zack (yeah. we call him Rosemary.): ...I see.

Matsuda: *pulls the little shower-pull thing, which has words on it that read "PULL IN EMERGENCY"* *pretty much gets a shower... a cold one.*

Mrs. Stephens: *eyetwitch* Honey, sweetie, sugar, darling, pumpkin, dear...

Jacqueline: OHHHHH SHE JUST CALLED YOU PUMPKIN & DEAR! You might as well just move your little butt over to the Corner of Scienceeeeeee *points to Tanner's practically permanent seat*

Tanner: :D I'M FREE

Kendall: No. *looks at him for twenty seconds without blinking*

Tanner: WTF? ... *bursts into flames*

Light: *just finished explaining Death Note to Anna*

Anna: So none of you are gay lovers?

Light: -.- No.

Anna: You sure?

Light: T.T Yes.

Anna: Certain?

Light: *facepalm*

Matsuda: ZOOM NOW I'M AN AIRPLANE :D *leaving puddles everywhere*

Edward: Hey look at me I'm a real vampire! :D

Alucard: *shoots him* Damn pixies. *walks through the wall & off campus*

Mrs. Stephens: *spontaneously combusts*

Zack: So, Hey, Misa...

Jacqueline: DDDDDD: WTF? WEEKEND PEDOPHILE? ARE YOU THE FULL-TIME PEDOPHILE NOW? (long story.)

Zack: DX ONLY ON WEEKENDS!

Randy: what...the...hell...

Ashley: STFU Randy go have gay sex with Dexter or something

Dexter & Randy: *start exchanging weirdly gay glances*

Aizawa's afro: *starts nomming on Mary*

Mary: DX HELP ME!

Everyone: *doesn't help her*

Ariel: See, Jackie-chan Dryer-kun? I TOLD YOU AFROS EAT PEOPLE!

Jacqueline: YOU ALSO SAID YOU WERE PROTECTED BY DEATHICORNS!

Ariel: That's because I am! D:

Jacqueline: That's ridiculous, Sebastian! Falcon, what do you think?

Mallory: *eyes the purple jacket I always wear* I see you're wearing your green jacket again, Sebastian.

Ariel: That I am, Falcon.

*ten seconds of silence*

Mia: HEY BITCH I'M STILL ARGUING WITH YOU~

Ariel: MATTY & MARSHMELLO ARE MINE BITCH~

Mia: NUUUUUUUUUH~

Matt & Mello: O.o o.O

Misa: HEY LIGHT~

Light: DX BACK OFF SLUT

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

Misa: DDDDDD:

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

Light: IT'S LIKE YOUR VOICE REPELS ALL INTELLIGENT THOUGHT! DX

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

Misa: DDDDDDDDDDDDD':

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

L: That was a very mean thing to do, Light. Kira is mean. Therefor, Light is Kira.

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

Light: That's preposterous! I am not Kira!

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

L: Nope, nope, you're wrong. Just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong.

Mallory & Ashley: LOL!

Dexter: So, Hey Misa... I really like your skirt, & I was wondering if-

Jacqueline: DEXTER YOU PERV! Go back to being gay with Randy!

Dexter & Randy: *exchange more gay looks*

Hannah: HEY BB :D Who you stabbing?

BB: I think his name was Brendan...

Hannah: :O ... :D

Randy: ... 'bout time.

Dexter: Hehe, that's what you get for being curly fry head :)

Dexter & Randy: *go back to their gayness*

L: OHNOEZ THE CUPCAKE IS BLEEDING!

Ashley: OHNOEZZZZZZZ-

Jacqueline: ZZZZZZZZZZ-

Mallory: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

Hannah: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

Rachel: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

Ariel: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

Mia: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

Madison: ...no. I refuse.

L: D:

BB: *has been singing Blood by MCR* ...Blood, Blood, Gallons of the stuff, I gave you all that you could drink and it has never been enough I gave you Blood, Blood, BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOD-UH, I'M THE type of human wreckage that'cha love DUN-dun ;)

Ariel: :DDDDD

Eva (another 8th grader): *pops in* OMG MCR! :DDDDD

Ariel: IKR?

Mello: ...Suddenly I wish I could disown all other MCR fans.

Matt: *nodnod* *doesn't look up from DS*

Watari: WTF is going on, eh? LOL

Soichiro: IDK, LOLOL.

Aizawa: Liek, ROFLMAO!

Madison: O.o why are you using txt talk?

Watari, Soichiro, & Aizawa: RMFAOSHRNDJSOLOSHFW!

Matsuda: OH! I can do that too! dskfjdshafjsdhf fhdsjfgsdgfd dfdgf74 dfhds, fdsgfdgfwe!

Kendall: Spam.

Jacqueline: OMG MATSUDA YOU'RE ADORABLE!

Watari's mustache: L337 $P34K!

Near: CHOCOLATE IS AWESOME

Mello: I LOVE ROBOTS

Matt: SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH

L: CAKE SUC- WAIT, WTF? DDDX

Light: WTF IS GOING ON? DX

Ryuk: Ah, that's simple. This is a fanfiction, and so everyone is extremely OOC. Humans are so... interesting.

Sidoh: I WANT MY NOTEBOOOOKKKKKK DX

Ryuk: SHIT *flys off*

Jesus: What has my dad done?

God: HEY, HEY, I'm sorry. Satan gave me some weed, & things just kinda went downhill from there...

L: God, you're a druggie? D:

Mikami: *to Light* Kira... ur a druggie? D:

Soichiro: Light, you're a druggie? ):= TO YOUR ROOM!

Jacqueline: LIKE FALCON!

Mallory: HEY YOU'RE THE ALCOHOLIC!

Jacqueline: IT WAS APPLE JUICE NOT BEER! DX

Ariel: ... :D  
>Well it was a sunny day &amp; I was riding my bike &amp; I was smoking a joint 'cause THAT'S WHAT I LIKE<p>

Everyone: o.o"

Ariel: And along came a police man to stop and stare and he said "HEY SONNY WHATCHA SMOKIN' THERE?"

Everyone: o.o""

Ariel: And I said  
>"HEY it's a reefer day, do ya want some, police man? It's a reefer day, ya want a blast? It's a reefer day, ya want some police man? OR WOULD YOU RATHER ME SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS?"<p>

Everyone: o.o"""

Ariel: Well he put me in his car & we left my bike & he took my reefer which HE QUITE LIKED

Everyone: o.o""""

Ariel: We got to the station & his eyes were all red & the Sergeant said "Constable you've gone OUT OF YOUR HEAD!"

Everyone: o.o"""""

Ariel: He said  
>"YEAH! It's a reefer day, ya want some Sergeant? It's a reefer day, ya want a blast? It's a reefer day, ya want some, Seargeant? OR WOULD YOU RATHER ME SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS?"<p>

Everyone: o.o""""""

Ariel: Well he suspended the Constable for his little joke & he went to the bathroom to HAVE A LITTLE TOKE

Everyone: o.o"""""""

Ariel: And when he got back and rolled another eight, and they were being passed around EVERY COPPER IN THE PLACE~

Everyone: o.o""""""""

Ariel: Well I sold them two ounces, and one sixteenth, And they rolled the biggest joint THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN~

Everyone: o.o"""""""""

Ariel: And they sang  
>"HEY! It's a reefer day, ya want some, mindless, It's a reefer day, ya want a blast? It's a reefer day, ya want some, mindless?<br>Thanks for your company & thanks for the grass!"

Everyone: o.o""""""""""""

God: OhdearKira, what HAVE I done? .-.

Jesus: ...

Matt: SHIT What the hell Luigi? What dipshit in here was I playing with just then? WHO JUST PUSHED A MARIO OFF A FRIGGIN CLIFF?

Josh: ... *raises hand* ...

Matt: *glare of death* *starts smoking*

Ashley: DON'T DO THAT THERE'S SMOKE ALARM THINGIES DDDDDX

Smoke alarms: LOLOL WE'RE LOUD LOLOL REEEEEEEEEEEEWR REEEEEEEEEEEEEEWR REEEEEEEEEEEEEEWR

Sprinklers: LOL! Cold shower time! Courtesy of Matt! *cold showers*

Matt: My cigarette went out! D:=

Everyone: -_-"

Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: THE FANGIRLS CRY & POUT!

Matt & Mello: O.o

Mallory and Aiden(recovering from stab wounds): Oh no...

Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: Dead Matt, Dead Matt, Dead Matt, He's dead!

Matt: WTF DX

Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: Now Matt's good buddy Mello,  
>Is sorry his friend died,<br>But he's still got Takada and a SWEET-ASS-RIDE!

Mello: Damn straight.

Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: His plan is still in motion,  
>There's no way Kira can hiiiide,<br>HE WILL DEFEAT NEAR THE GOAL'S AHEAD

Mello: :)

Jacqueline, Ashley, Ariel: OH NO!  
>She's got a death note, now he's dead.<p>

Mello: WTF? DX

Everyone: o.O"

Random chair: SIT ON ME! :D

L: O.o

Paper airplane: ZOOM SOMEHOW THE WATER ISN'T WEIGHING ME DOWN! :D

Matsuda: FRIEND! :D

Light: o.O

Jesus: ...ohjeevas...

Matt: WTF why is Jesus using my last name?

Mello: *shrug* *noms chocolate*

Watari: I'M HERE TO BREAK UP WHATEVER WAS GOING ON!

. . .

:D

Paper airplane: HEY HEY HEY LOOK AT ME! OPEN ME UP!

Near: *opens it up, revealing M&M kissing* I knew it.

Mello: WTF? DX WE WERE HIGH! & WE WERE DARED! *shoots paper*

Bullets: YO YO YO, we gonna DESTROY you paper, we gonna DESTROY you in da name of da Mello!

Paper: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO D'X

Mello: *blows shit up*

*shit happens*

*chaos ensues*

*everyone's dead*

-later-

*everyone's not dead?*

Ariel: Hey Mom :/

My Mom: How was school today?

Ariel: Same old same old :/

DA END.


	2. Drama Club After School

**A/N: YEZZZZZ EEEEET EEEEZ CONTINUUUUUUUEEEEEDDDD**

**Everyone except Mrs. Beardsley (teacher,) Mr. Kraft (principal,) Watari, Roger, Rod Ross, & the task force are, like, 12-16 in this. HOORAY FOR THE MAGIC OF FFs! :D**

**Thankehz & a cookeh to Jackie-chan (jakethedog) for the idea. Yes, folks, she came up with the basic idea for this, but according to her she's not good at writing crackfics... I think not. After all, there was that story she refuses to post which I have nicknamed "PERSONAL APOLOGY" because she owes me one for writing it ^^ (it haz strong MxM yaoi x_x) but it was still pretty funny... Anywayz, here's your cookie! (`' `'`` ') It's a snicker-doodle this time! :D**

**Random-ass Disclaimer: I dun own DN or it's characters, or whatever lines/characters from the play we were doing I used... All I own is... UR MOM. **

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><p><strong>Mrs. Beardsley:<strong> blah blah blah alright everyone let's set up the sets. We'll start at the beginning of Act II blah blah blah

**Mr. Kraft:** YO guess what well all those new students have been forced to join the Drama Club for no apparent reason. Sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I thought Drama Club was on Sundays, not Tuesdays.

**Mrs. Beardsley:** ._. There's no school on Sun- ...Nevermind. Well, we're always happy to have- oh no ._." (yeah, we've told her about them.)

**Jacqueline, Ariel, Ashley, Rachel, Mia, Hannah** (...we'll call her Chester, since we have 2 Hannahs in Drama Club. The other Hannah will be called Bob. ... Or Hannah. Probably Hannah.)** :** :DDDDD Hey!~~~

**Mello:** ...Oh God no.

**God: **:(

**L:** Here we go again...

**Jacqueline, Ariel, Ashley, Chester, Mia, Rachel:** We love chu :3

**Near:** ...It appears that we have run in with our... friends... again.

**Matt:** Joy to the world. T.T

**Mrs. Beardsley: **Well... let's see what open parts we have...

**Ariel: **WhatsHerFace (INeverBotheredToKnowHerName) hasn't been here for, like, 2 months. She played the old lady that didn't have a name...

**Watari: **Oh! I could do that! I'm an old lady!

**Everyone: **._."

**Mrs. Beardsley: **...there's also two pom-pom girls (cheerleaders) open...

**Watari: **I was a cheerleader in highschool! :D That T-Rex bitch on the other team was always trying to beat me, but she never could. And my skirt always looked better on me too.

**Everyone: **o.o"

**Roger: ***randomly climbs out from under a random table* You guys disturbed yet?

**Everyone:** ...

**Roger: **Thought so. *goes back under table*

**Misa: **MisaMisa could be a pom-pom girl!

**Jacqueline** (plays a pom-pom girl, along with another part)**:** Yay! Then we'd be pom-pom buddies!

**Misa: **:D That would be awesome!

**Ashley:** OMG! Mello should be a pom-pom girl!

**Mello:** *glare of DEAHTH* Fuck no.

**Ashley: **... I bet he has the legs for it.

**Andrew: ***dramatic voice* Excuse me, but it seems to me that we have *mad voice* NO EFFIN IDEA *dramatic voice again* who you guys are. Introduce yourselves? :3

**L: **Oh no...

**Jacqueline: **WELL THAT'S WATA-

**Dylan:** *obviously checking Jax out* You're hot. (yeah. he actually did that. IRL.)

**Light: ***phew* Thank me... I don't want to go through THAT again...

**Ariel, Ashley, Chester, Mia, Rachel, Hannah **(see? there she is.)** : ***immediately move to defend, surrounding Jacqueline & holding random very dangerous looking props*

**Ashley: **WTF CREEPER!

**Ariel: **Don't you have a girlfriend? WHO'S NOT A YEAR OLDER THAN YOU?

**Dylan: **Yeah. But I can't help myself DX

**Hannah: **Dylan you perv -.- GTFA

**Rachel: ***very loud voice* HEY EVERYONE DYLAN IS HITTING ON JACQUELINE AGAIN!

**Dylan:** DX

**Misa: **I'll save you! D:= *about to pull out Death Note*

**Ian: **GAY HORSE!

**Misa: **WTFH? You did NOT just call me a gay horse! That's it! You! Girl! Hold my hoops! *hands earrings to Watari*

**Ian:** OHSHIT... *runs past Mrs. Beardsley* HELP ME! THE GIRLS ARE GONNA PUT MAKE UP ON ME AGAIN! DX

**Everyone Else in Drama Club:** *laughing faces off, remember past... incidents.*

**Mello: **HEY, Don't WE get any lines?

**Mrs. Beardsley: **Oh yeah, back to the cast! Well, some of the actors have two parts... Would you like to be Steve?

**Mello:** T.T not what I meant.

**Ariel:** :DDDDDD STEVE IS ANNE'S FRIEND! AND I'M ANNE! :DDDDD

**Ashley: **but I wuz Steve... only we made it Stevie so it could be a girl DX

**Hannah:** But you're also one of the students :P

**Ashley: **still...

**Ariel: **:DDDDDDD YAY MARSHMELLO

**Mia & Ariel: ***randomly glomp Mello & Matt, forcing all four to be uncomfortably close... Or comfortably close. -wink wink-*

**Mello: **GET THE FUCK OFF ME!

**Mrs. Beardsley: **Language! :/

**Ashley & Jacqueline: **GET OFF THEM! SUDDENLY WE DON'T LIKE L, BB, OR LIGHT AS MUCH ANYMORE AND MATT AND MELLO ARE OURS! (seriously, that happened. ...Only not exactly like that. It was over Facebook. & yes, the writer of this crackfic is suddenly cyber-glaring at the guilty parties.)

**Mia & Ariel: **WTFH? MELLO & MATT ARE OURS! Go back to L & BB & Light! I'm sure they're getting lonely! XP

**Mello:** X_X CAN YOU JUST GET OFF ME ALREADY?

_-meanwhile-_

**BB: ***attempts to get away from Chester, who is glomping him* HALP, DA FANGIRLZ! *starts stabbing Chester*

**Chester:** DX AIYM BLEEDEENG AHHHH

_-more meanwhile-_

**Hannah: ***walks up to Light* Hey, you're pretty cute :)

**Light: ***too busy trying to get Misa to STFU to notice*

**Hannah: **...Well fuck you.

_-meanwhile again-_

**Rachel: ***sits there, glomping Near*

**Near: **-.- ... T.T ... T_T ...

_-lol, guess what? MEANWHILE~-_

**Takada, Mikami, Aizawa, Soichiro, Matsuda, Ukita, Ide, Mogi: **THESE ARE THE FIRST LINES WE'VE HAD IN THIS WHOLE FIC! )':

**Ryuk:** Well, you see, that's because although you are all important to the story, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU. ...Except maybe Mikami and Matsuda. And Aizawa's hai- HOLY FUCK YOU CUT YOUR HAIR D:

**Ariel:** YAY We're safe!

**Jacqueline: **NUUUUU NOT THE FRO DX

**Sidoh: **D:= I WANT MY NOTEBOOOOOOK

**Ryuk: **FUCK! Not again DX I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IZZZZ- omg an apple :3

**Sidoh:** YOU LOST MY NOTEBOOK?

**Chester:** Ryuk curses?

**Rod Ross: **Mello's not my bitch?

**Jacqueline: **We have lives?

**Ariel:** That building has glass in it, so it has a purpose?

**Light: **Misa's actually NOT a slut?

**L: **Light's not gay for me?

**Ukita:** I have lines in this thing?

**Mia:** Who gives a damn?

**Rachel: **Is Near _under-age_? (yeah. Think perverted.)

**Ashley: **WILL WE EVER KNOW?

**RJ:** What's going on, eh? (yes, he's actually Canadian, & he does talk like that.)

**Ariel:** ...you know, RJ, Rachel, you two look nothing alike... and you talk different... it doesn't seem like you're siblings...

**Roger:** RUDE INTERRUPTION BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A DAMN! :D

**Ariel:** D: I was just curious!

**Matt:** *snicker* You're bi-curious.

**Mello:** ...did you really just swoop so low as to quote _South Park?_

**Matt:** ...Maybe.

**L:** ...I'm disappointed in you.

**Near:** Yes, that is pretty low.

**Matt:** D':

**Light:** Well _I_ think South Park is funny.

**Rachel:** GTFO OF THIS CONVERSATION NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU LIGHT!

**Misa:** MISAMISA CARES! D:

**Light:** STFU Misa.

**Ariel:** *walks over* ...DID YOU GUYS MAKE MY MATTY SAD? DDDDDD:=

**Near:** ...No.

**Ariel:** D:= *starts kicking sock-sheep butt* (...Yeah. Near's a sock-sheep. DU NUT DUNY UT.)

**Near:** HE'S THE ONE WHO INSULTED YOU! D'X

**Jacqueline, Ashley, Chester, Mia:** *snickering in background*

**Rachel: **NU STOP HURTING MAH BAYBEH DX

**Matsuda: **MATSUDA TO DA RESCUUUUUE!

**Rachel: **:D YAY

**Matsuda: ***saves his ice cream from falling off his ice cream cone*

**Rachel:** *eyetwitch*

**Near:** *is being murdered* D'x

**Rachel: **DX STOP IT SEBASTIAN YOU'RE HURTING HIM DX

**Mrs. Beardsley:** I REALLY DON'T THINK MURDER IS LEGAL. DX

**Ariel:** x.x fine. *stops murdering Near* But I need violence of some sort D|

**Andrew, Ian, Chester, Ariel, Jacqueline: ***Get in a random water gun fight... Because we had water guns on set... Because we needed guns... And we couldn't have real ones.* *start running around & hiding behind curtains & shooting each other & acting like 6 year olds* (yes, this has actually happened. & yes, we managed to do the below.)

**Mrs. Beardsley: ***sigh* Do you think you guys can at least practice your lines while having your showdown?

**Andrew: **Yes, I do believe that's accomplishable. (told you we'd be able to do it. Andrew says so too.)

**Mello:** *smirk* Can I play? *pulls out his gun... which actually doesn't look that different from the water guns we're using, because they look like regular pistols ._.*

**Mrs. Beardsley: ***suspecting nothing* Fine.

**Mello: **STFU. *shoots Misa*

**Bullets:** WHIZZZ We DESTROY yo, bitch! YO FOO! We DESTROY yo in da name of da MELLO! WHIZZZ

**Misa:** *dies from Mello's perfect aim and lead in her skull, which was pretty much empty until now*

**Matt: **FINALLY.

**Light: **THANK ME -.-

**God: **UM, HELLO? Do I not exist anymore? DX

**Jesus:** Don't worry, he just has a God complex.

**Mikami: **WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

**God:** ...I'm God.

**Mikami:** WTF? Kira is God! Light is Kira! Light is God!

**God: ***glare at Jesus*

**Jesus: **Just ignore it, Daddy :3

**Soichiro: **...WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ABOUT LIGHT? D:- (unibrow?)

**L:** Mello... although I do not condone your methods... THANK YOU. x.x (nobrow?)

**Watari:** NUUUU MISA! We were gonna make brownies together! & stay up late watching chick flicks! & squeal over hot guys! D:= (bushybrow?)

**Everyone:** ...

_-haha, meanwhile.-_

**Eva: **I haven't had any lines yet & since 've never read Death Note, I probably won't for the rest of this fanfiction )':

_-meanwhile!-_

**Jacqueline: ***unaware of her idol's death, helping Matsuda with his lines... As the new made-up character that won't actually be in the play. Because we all know how that'd work out.* You need to work on your monologue! I suggest taking lessons from the great Light Yagami!

**Matsuda:** MASTER! :D

**Light: **._.

**Matsuda: **I would never betray you!

**Light: **._.

**Ryuk: **lol, irony.

**Light: **What?

**Ryuk:** Oh, nothing. *hyuk hyuk*

**Mogi: **I CAN SPEAK.

**Soichiro:** OH. EHM. GEE. Mogi's not a mime!

**Mogi: **-.-

**Soichiro:** OH. EHM. EFF. GEE. Mogi has emotions!

**Mogi:** -.-

**Mikami:** ...OMFG...Oh my fucking God...Oh my fucking Kira...Oh my fucking Light...EWWWWWW MR. YAGAMI!

**Ashley:** EW o.o *clearly disturbed* ...I still want Cuddleboy & Marshmello!

**Ariel and Mia: **HANDS OFF DX

**Ashley: **Well you guys are fine with you guys sharing! ...With a few arguments every once & a while!

**Mia: **But there's two of them and two of us!

**Ariel:** We can take turns!

**Mello, Matt, & Ashley: **. . . *disturbed*

**Chester:** HEY LOOK Mrs. Beardsley hasn't spontaneously combusted yet!

**Mrs. Beardsley: **I haven't wha- *spontaneously combusts*

**Non- Death Note People: **DDDDD'X

**Death Note people:** T.T Great.

**Jacqueline: **DX CHESTER, YOU JINXED IT DX

**Chester: **DX I'M SORRY

**Mr. Kraft: **WHOA I've been standing here this whole time because the writer of this fanfiction forgot to make me leave!

**Random person's script:** HEY! Read me! :D

_-Just Kidding. The script can't talk.-_

**The Script** (band) **: ***randomly poof into room* D: W-

**Matsuda: ***ducktapes all their mouths* NO! The random voice said you can't talk! ):=

**The Script:** DX MHMHMHMMMMMHHMMMM!

**Light: **What?

**The Script: **MHMMMMMHHHHMMMMM! MHMHM! MHM! MHM MHHHMMMMM MHM MHMMMMM!

**Light: **._."

**Takada:** Here, I'll translate. I speak muffled. (lol, random Naruto Abridged reference. Too bad it gets cut off, I loved that part.)

**Aizawa: **Takada you have a use? ._.

**Mello: **F!FSTFHTFU! (For those of you that don't speak awesome, that'd be "FUCK! fucking shut the fucking hell the fuck up!") *shoots Takada*

_-What? No talking bullets?_

_Nope, it's a blank._

_Might wanna load your gun, Mello.-_

**Mello:** *loads more bullets into gun and glares, obviously planning to shoot the invisible voice after shooting Takada*

_-lol.-_

**Mello:** *shoots Takada*

**Bullets:** BWAHAHAHA FINALLY! NOW STFU, FOO!

**Everyone:** YAY

**Mello:** *turns to where voice was coming from*

_-Lol, you won't shoo-_

*BANG BANG BANG*

**Bullets:** WHEEEEEEEEEEEE YAY DEATH DEATH DEATH AND RAINBOWZ YAY HAPPINESS DEATH DEATH DEATH (He musta ran out of gangsta bullets :/)

_-OW DX I'M INJURED DDDDDXXX-_

**Mello: **Haha.

**Matt: **Nice one- ...Hey, was that?...I mean...That seems familiar...Hm. Whatever.

**Mello:** *shoots more people* *blows more shit up*

-*author can't think of how to end this*-

-*everyone's dead*-

_-later-_

-*everyone's not dead?*-

**Ariel:** *logs on to her Formspring to talk to Shadehness*

**Shadeh:** So... I feel the odd need to ask you what happened at your school today... What happened at your school today?

**Ariel:** Nothing unusual :/ ...So, if you're like Matt, then-

FIN.


	3. Choir 1st Period

**A/N: UBER BORED XDX**

**Everyone except Mr. Noderer (teacher,) Mr. Kraft (principal,) Watari, Roger, & the task force are, like, 12-14 in this. OH, & keep in mind that somehow in my agemorph-ness Mello is his post-scar smexiness. HOORAY FOR THE MAGIC OF FFs! :D**

**FINE THEN JACKIE-CHAN DRYER-KUN, HERE'S YOUR SEXUAL INNUENDO COCKIE (LOL, typo? OR NOT?) :  
><strong>

**(=[]o .'.'.,.' ╔╦╦╦╗ **#* CQQQQC [v v v v v])  
>.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.╚╩╩╩╝<strong>

**EPIC. FAIL. It was SUPPOSED to be a cookie with robots, cigarette ash, chocolate, potato chip crumbs, jam (HTF IS THAT CQQQQC THING SUPPOSED TO BE JAM? DX) & strawberry cake on it. DX**

**Random-ass Disclaimer: I dun own DN or it's characters. The afro-man owns that. THE AFRO-MAN OWNS ALLLLLLLLL. **

* * *

><p><strong>Mr. Noderer:<strong> blah blah blah no one cares music stuff blah blah blah

**Mr. Kraft:** HEYYYYYYYYY yeah guess what well we're forcing all the new students to be in choir too for no apparent reason. Most of them are really old guys with terrible voices, but whatever.

*Mikami, Aizawa, Soichiro, Matsuda, Ide, Mogi, Watari, Near, Light, & L walk in*

**Mr. Noderer: **... This is the girl choir day. The boy's choir is tomorrow...

**Mr. Kraft:** YEAHHHHHHH Idon'tcare. HAVE A NICE DAY! :D

**Jacqueline, Ariel, Olivia:** OMG HAI! :D

**Light: **FUCK! Why do we keep getting stuck in classes with THESE PEOPLE?

**L, Soichiro, Mr. Noderer: **Language.

**Random girls **(there's about 70 of us, so... yeah o.o")** :** OMG HEY LOOK AT THE BRUNETTE! HE'S SO CUTE! *mindless squealing and fangirling even though they have no idea who the fuck they are*

**L: **Hey! What about me? Don't I get any love? D':

**Jacqueline: **WE LOVE YOU, PEDO-PANDA!

**L: **DX

**Light: **...L, by your own reasoning, you are just driving up the chances of you being Kira...

**L: **STFU. I'm not the suspect, you are.

**Olivia: **Hey... where's Misa, Mello, and Matt?

**Ariel: **Mello shot Misa-

**Jacqueline: **MELLO DID WHAT? DX

**Ariel: **and I dunno about where he and Matt are...

**Jacqueline: **:OOOOO I BET I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE! =:D

**Ariel: **NO DX

**Jacqueline: **HAHA! I BET IT IS! (she's a yaoi fan. x.x)

*suddenly Matt and Mello come limping in, clothes torn and panting heavily*

**Jacqueline: **Wow... I didn't know that was even possible. They must like it rou-

**Ariel: ***glare of DEAHTH*

**Matt: **there were so many... of them... *panting*

**Olivia: **O.o what?

**Mello: **Sixth... graders... ambush...

**Ariel: ***bursts out laughing*

**Jacqueline: **DX NOOOOOOOOOOO MATT! YOU MUST BE GAY FOR MELLO OR THE WORLD WILL STOP SPINNING!

**Matt: **I have to be WHAT?

**Mello: **O.O no thanks.

_-haha, meanwhile.-_

**L: ***just sat down next to Kendall*

**Kendall: ***stares at his knee without blinking and starts petting it* (yeah, she does that. a lot. it's kinda creepy. but we love her for it xD)

**L: **Um... what... are you doing...?

**Kendall: ***doesn't say anything, just keeps staring creepily & petting L's knee*

**L:** ...really starting to get freaked out now! DX

**Jacqueline: **OH DON'T WORRY, L-KITTEN! She just does that sometimes~ :D

**L:** o-o *getting concerned* IT'S CREEPY DX

**Kendall: **_The descendere in aciem iris porcos, cum alba et circuli sciurus elementum sanguinis. Lacunaria et delphines, lupi sunt abscondita a male, sed non tradent in trying giraffes lignum ad vescendum cyanide pie. Dehinc, non electione, sed etiam oves TV tradere ... Vereor omnia amissa murum hamsters ... Ut kittenwals CONTERITO animam ..._

_-lol, you gotta see this... What the author TOLD Google Translate to translate was this..._

"The rainbow pigs descend upon the battlefield, streaked with jelly and circle squirrel blood. The ceiling dolphins are still hiding from the smoothie wolves, but the tree giraffes will not give up in trying to eat the cyanide pie. After a while, even the TV sheep will have no choice but to give up... I fear that all is lost for the wall hamsters... May the kittenwals terrorize your soul..."

_When she took the Latin and translated it back, again using Google Translate, she got this..._

"The pigs come down to battle a rainbow, with white and squirrel element of the circle of blood. Coffered ceilings and dolphins, wolves they are hidden from the ill, but not deliver him into the tree trying to giraffes to eat cyanide piously. After a while, is not the election, but also hand over the sheep ... TV I am afraid the wall had been lost all hamsters ... To kittenwals TERRORIZE soul ..."

_lol. Epic fail/win.-_

**L: **REALLY SCARED NOW DX

**Ariel and Jacqueline: **WHOA Kendall since when were you fluent in Latin? *totally nonplussed*

**Kendall: **I dunno.

**Mello: **JESUS CHRIST THERE'S EVEN MORE RABID GIRLS IN HERE DX *attacked by random girls*

**Kendall:** *hisses*

**Matt: **...Did she just hiss?

**Mello: **JESUS CHRIST MATT IDK JUST FUCKIN HELP ME DX

**Kendall: ***hisses again*

**Matt: **o.o" ...Jesus Christ.

**Kendall: ***hisses... yet again.*

**Matt: **o-o" I really don't think this is normal... let's try... JESUS CHRIST! JESUS CHRIST! JESUS CHRIST!

**Kendall: ***hiss hiss hiss*

**Jesus: **WOULD YOU GUYS STOP SAYING MY NAME RANDOMLY DX

**Kendall: ***hisses, grows claws, & attacks Jesus*

**Jesus: **HOLYJEEVAS!

**Matt: **X.X Jesus is a hypocrite and God is a crackhead. Who knew?

**Olivia: **WTF IS GOING ON WITH KENDALL? O_O

**Ariel: **Meh, idk. I think she's the Antichrist.

**Olivia and Matt:** and you aren't alarmed by that... AT ALL?

**Jacqueline: **Not really.

_-Meanwhile~-_

**L: ***still sitting there looking freaked out*

_-Lol. Meanwhile!-_

**Mello: ***still being attacked, reaches for his gun* *...it's not there.* ...WHERE THE FUCK IS MY GUN?

**Ariel: ***has it and shooting random people she doesn't like*

**Bullets: **YO YO YO THIS IS AWESOME, FOO! WE GONNA KILL YO ALL! WE GONNA KICK YO ASSES, BITCHES! (he got his gangsta bullets back?)

**Mello: **DX WHY AREN'T ANY OF YOU ATTACKING MATT? HE'S CUTE, RIGHT? OR LIGHT! ATTACK LIGHT!

**Jacqueline: **I KNEW ITTTT! MELLO THINKS MATT IS CUTE!

**Mello: **X.X

**Matt: ***is suddenly attacked as well* JEEZ, THANKS MELLO. YOU'RE, LIKE, MY BEST FRIEND EVER. *sarcasm*

_-Meanwhile! :D-_

**Light and L: ***just sitting there, watching it all* ...

**Mr: Noderer: **Um... I'm really not sure...

_-BWAHAHA! SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION TIME!-_

**Mr. Noderer: **...what? *doesn't spontaneously combust*

**Jacqueline: **WOAH MR. NODDY YOU DIDN'T SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST! :D

**Mr. Noderer: **...Of course I didn't, I'm wearing my fireproof fish tie today.

**Jacqueline:** :OOO :D

_-D: no spontaneous combustion? D:= WELL THEN I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS! ...er... invisible... hand... things... ANYWAY! *sets Kate on fire*-_

**Kate: **DX AH NO I'M ON FIRE AH SOMEONE HELP ME!

**Everyone: ***doesn't help her*

_-YAY FIAR! :D-_

**Ariel: **WAIT FIRE 8DDDDD WHOOOOOO FIREEEEEEE

_-DX NOOOOO DX STAY AWAY STAYBACK STAYBACK NO DX AWAY FROM THE FIRE NO VIOLENCE FOR YOU NOOO DX-_

**Ariel: ***somehow manages to set the invisible voice on fire*

_-DX I'M ON FIRE DX-_

**Olivia: **LOOK! It's Captain Obvious!

**Ariel and Mello **(what happened to the fangirls?) **: **lol.

_-DX MEANWHILE DX I'M STILL BURNING DX-_

**Matt: ***still being glomped* (oh, there they are.) DAMMIT MELLO HELP ME OUT OR YOU'LL BE SINGING SOPRANO FOR THE NEXT TWENTY YEARS!

**Mello:** *laughs* You know I'd pwn you in a fight.

**Matt: **I'M FUCKING SERIOUS DX

**Mello: **Have fun, I hope Serious is good.

**Matt: **MELLO! DX

**Mello: **Fine. *sighs* *points to Ariel* You, psycho chick, give my gun back.

**Ariel: **D: but I like guns D:

**Mello: ***grabs the gun*

**Ariel:** ...Well fuck you.

**Mello: ***starts shooting the random girls glomping Matt*

**Bullets: **YO BITCHEZ GET THE FUCK OFF MATT YO WE DESTROYYYYY YO IN DA NAME OF DA MELLO

_-*whimper* Meanwhile...-_

**Ashley and Hannah **(in the band room) **: **...WTF? ...OMK! THE DEATHEH NOTEH PEOPLEZ MUSTEH B-EH INEH THEH CHOIREH ROOMEH~

**Aiden: **Oh god...

**God: **):

**Ashley: **S-T-F-U! *hits him with her clarinet*

_-Lol, child abuse. AND I'M STILL BURNING! DX Meanwhile. o3o-_

**Mikami, Aizawa, Soichiro, Matsuda, Ide, Mogi, Watari, Near:** HEY WE'RE TIRED OF NOT GETTING LINES DX

_-Lol, TUHBAHD._-

**Mikami: **So, um, "God", I'm assuming you're anti-Kira?

**God: ***sarcasm* Well what makes you think that?

**Mikami: **Well obviously Kira is God, so if you really think you're God, you must not like Kira very much.

**God: **T.T

_-MEANWHILE-_

**Jesus: ***is being torn to shreds by Kendall, who is apparently the Antichrist* DX HELP ME

**Olivia: ***steps forward* Um, Kendall, I really think you should leave Jesus-

**Kendall: ***hisses*

**Olivia:** ...alone...now... DX

_-GUESS WHAT?_

_ponies._

_JK._

_MEANWHILE~!- _

**Aizawa's afro: ***starts eating all the dead people*

**Soichiro's mustache: **So... do you think I could have som-

**Aizawa's afro: ***eats Soichiro's mustache*

**Soichiro: **WTFH? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MUSTACHE?

**Ariel: **SEE, told you guys his afro was cannibalistic.

**Jacqueline: **...and no one said otherwise...

**Ariel: **STFU JACKIE-CHAN I HAVE WON THIS ARGUMENT!

**Jacqueline: **...Whatever Sebastian.

_-MEANWHILE I'M STILL ON FIRE BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE!-_

**Everyone: ***ignores voice*

_-DX FINE. MEANWHILE-_

**Matsuda: **HEY LIGHT GUESS WHAT SAYU TOLD ME!~

**Light: **T.T what?

**Matsuda: **YOUR LAST NAME BACKWARDS IS "I'MAGAY"~! :D

*entire class stops*

*mutterings*

**Random girls: **"He does look a little gay, doesn't he?" "Yes, I mean, I bet it takes him hours to do his hair." "And he has been resisting all our attempts to glomp him..." "But then again so have the others." "Well that could just mean they're all gay..."

**Light: **I. AM. NOT. GAY. DX

**Olivia and Jacqueline:** SUUUUUURE.

**Light: **X.X *looks at Ariel* You believe me, right?

**Ariel: ***looks up from the DS she just stole from Matt* Huh?

**Light: ***sigh of annoyance* You don't think I'm gay, right?

**Ariel: **Well... I dunno... You kinda look it...

**Light: **DX

_-Meanwhile D':-_

**BB: ***walks in, holding three jars of strawberry jam* ._. ...YUMMY, DEAD PEOPLE! :D *joins Aizawa's afro in ...his..it's...heshe's...I think I'll go with it's... corpse eating*

_-o_o" Um... MEANWHILE~-_

**Near: ***sitting there, innocently being a carpetophile (lol, Bitch Stepped on My Floor Cake.) and eating robots*

**Jacqueline: **HEY MR. WHITE FLUFF LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT YOU~!

**Near: ***looks up* Hm?

**Jacqueline: ***steps out of doorway, revealing Rachel*

**Near: **...ohGodno...

**Rachel: **ZOMG NEAR! I LOVE YOU! :3 *glomps him* AHND U LUFF MEH BAK, RITE?

**Mello: **How stupid can you be? It's obvious that Near's floorsexual. (BSOMFC again :D)

**Rachel: **D': Mello... I HATE YOU! DX Can't a girl dream? And rape?

**Mello: **Great, I'll add you to the list of people who hate me. ...And... Sure, go ahead, I'm sure the little socksheep will love it ^^

**Near: **...

**Jacqueline: **There's a little soundproof room right over there ^^ *points*

**Near: **. . .

**Mello and Jacqueline: **SEE YOU GUYS LATER! :D

**Near: ***is dragged off to THE ROOM by Rachel* *grabs on to doorway for dear life* Please... Help me...

**Rachel: **C'MON NEAR WE'RE GONNA HAVE LOTS OF FUN! :D AND LOOK, THERE'S EVEN A COUCH!

**Near: ***sadly sadish tear of sadeh sad sadness... and despair.*

**Olivia: **Well that's weird, I could have sworn I just saw Near show emotion...

**Mello: **I'm sure he's fine ^^

_-MEANWHILE~-_

**Aizawa, Ide, Mogi, Watari: **...And we STILL haven't had any real lines yet...

**Ryuk: ***bursts through window because he was too lazy to just evaporate through it* LIKE I SAID BEFORE, NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU GUYS :)

**Sidoh: **WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU RYUK? D:=

**Ryuk: **DX FUCK, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE DX

**Rem: ***randomly poofs into room* MISA IS DEAD. WHO KILLED HER?

**Near: ***From the sound proof room? And they can hear what he is saying? ._.* MELLO DID IT

**Mello: **...shit.

_-Bwahaha, meanwhile!-_

**Near: **REVENGE IS SWEET

**Rachel: **WAIT, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? THE REAL NEAR DOESN'T CARE ABOUT REVENGE! D:=

**Near: **Well after what you've been doing to m- I MEAN, yeah, that's right, I'm not the real Near! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY! See, I just had EMOTION! You should go find the real Near now!

_-...it's like a soap opera...-_

**Rachel: **YOU BASTARD! *runs out to go find the "real" Near*

_-MEANWHILE-_

**A bunch of Near cosplayers: **Whoa, how did we get here?

_-Bwahaha, I love myself. I have epic ideas. MEANWHILE~-_

**Rem:** *about to kill Mello* ... *still about to kill him* ... *...still about to kill him* ... *still hasn't done it, but she's going too*

**Mello: **... T.T Hey, if you're gonna kill me, get on with it.

**Rem: **Or...

**Matt: **LOL, I know what's gonna happen!

_-WHAT? HOW?-_

**Matt: **I have the script downloaded on my DS. *holds up DS, which is still being played by Ariel... (I think she's attached herself to it somehow...)*

_-...-_

**The Script **(band)** : **:D

**Matt: **NONOTYOU -.-

**The Script: **)':

_-...Anyway, back to Mello's little situation.-_

**Mello: **LOOK If you're gonna kill me GET IT OVER WITH. *glares at Rem*

**Rem: **I won't kill you...

**Random fangirls reading this ff:** :D

**Rem: **IF...

**Everyone reading this ff: ***edge of seats in anticipation*

**Rem: **You give me that chocolate bar. *points her finger...bone...thing... at the chocolate bar Mello has been holding this whole time without the author even mentioning it once*

**Everyone reading this ff: ***le gasp*

**Mello: **M... my chocolate? *eyes widen*

**Rem: **Just that bar.

**Mello: **D: W-why do all the shinigami want my chocolate? D'X *glances between Rem and the chocolate bar, as if making a pained decision*

**Matt:** MELLO just give her the chocolate bar! You brought another one, remember?

**Mello: **B-but...

**Matt: **LOOK, it's in your pocket, see- ._. Where did it go?

**Ariel: ***walks by, eating a bar of chocolate & still playing Matt's DS*

**Matt: ***narrows eyes* Where did you get that chocolate?

**Ariel: **Hm? It was in Mello's pocket. I just stole it.

**Matt: **x.x Well could you please give it back? ...and my DS too!

**Ariel: **B-but... *same expression enters her face as the one that had appeared on Mello's when Rem told him the trade* ...this is my first fix in a week! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THIS WEEK WAS? NOT A SINGLE PIECE OF CHOCOLATE, ALL WEEK! *rampage*

**Matt: ***sigh* If you don't give it back, Rem is going to kill Mello.

**Ariel: **...And?

_-JK, she's too much of a fangirl to say that :/-_

**Ariel: **D: *glances between Mello and the chocolate bar, a pained expression on her face* B-but...

**Matt: ***sigh, glare* Mello, just give Rem the chocolate bar you have.

**Mello: ***childish voice* NU! D:=

**Rem: **...You do realize I'm gonna kill you, right?

**Mello: **...Yeah.

**Rem: **...You're gonna die... Over a piece of chocolate...

**Mello: **...Yeah.

**Rem: ***turns to Ariel* ...And you're going to let him die... Over a piece of chocolate...

**Ariel: **...Yeah.

**Rem: **. . . If I kill you, you'll stop breathing.

**Mello:** ...Yeah.

**Rem: **. . . If you stop breathing, you'll die.

**Mello: **...One would think that correct, yes x.x

**Rem: **. . . If you die, you'll be dead.

**Mello: **...THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.

**Rem: **. . . If you're dea-

**Mello: **YES I THINK WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT! X.X

_-Aw, Mello didn't think my DN:TAS reference was funny? :/-_

**Mello: **No, not really. X_X

**Matt: **... ... ... ... WELL GOOD THING I READ THE SCRIPT AND BROUGHT THIS EXTRA BAR OF CHOCOLATE THAT I STOLE DIRECTLY FROM MELLO'S STASH! :D

**Mello and Ariel: **YOU HAD THAT THIS WHOLE TIME? D:=

**Matt: **Yup ^^

**Mello and Ariel: **...

**Rem: **HELLO?

**Mello:** OHYEAH! *hands Rem half eaten chocolate bar, snatches the new bar from Matt's hand, and starts eating it*

**Matt and Ariel:** YAY HAPPY ENDING :D

**Matt: **...Now gimme back my DS.

**Ariel: **D:

_-Damn, this is like a soap opera... MEANWHILE~!~-_

**Near: ***walks by* WTF? I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN REM TO KILL YOU?

**Mello: ***glare*

**Near: **...ohshi- *gets beaten half to death, then locked in a closet with Harold the Spider.*

_-Yes, the author named the spider. If you have problems with that, talk to her. LONG LIVE HAROLD!-_

**Mello:** *shoots more people* *blows more shit up*

-*this is getting really repetitive*-

-*everyone's dead*-

_-later-_

-*everyone's not dead?*-

_-At Mallory's house for a huge random sleepover-party-thing of epicly epic epicnezz that wasn't planned until all the guests showed up at her house for no reason... So yeah it wasn't planned-_

**Mallory, Hannah, Rachel, Madison and Ashley:** So, how did choir go today?

**Jacqueline, Olivia, and Ariel: **Meh. It was boring, as always.

**Kendall:** _Mors et raptus in cats quod kittens stalker conantur cum acciperet Inferno innuendo cockies orci!_

**Mallory, Hannah, Rachel, Madison and Ashley: **...What?

**Jacqueline and Ariel:** OHYEAH, Kendall's the Antichrist. Sorry, we forgot to tell you that! ^^

END.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: For those of you that may or may not be wondering, what I typed in to Google Translate for that last bit of Latin was "Death to the stalker kittens and the rape cats as they attempt to take over Hell with their sexual innuendo cockies!" (lol, another typo?) and if I take the Latin translation and translate it back to English I get "Cats kittens that when he received the stalker caught up in an attempt to Death and Hell cockies innuendo here!"**

**XD **


	4. Social Studies 3rd Period

**A/N: Have you noticed HOW MUCH SENSE the timeline of this fic makes? 2nd period, then after school shit, then 1st period, and then 3rd period.**

**YEAHHHHHHHHH, THAT MAKES SENSE!**

**About as much sense as MatsudaxRoger. (sorreh Asheh, I had to use it... xDx) (& damn you Eru for making that make sense XDX) **

**Everyone except the teachers, Mr. Kraft (principal,) Watari, Roger, & the task force are, like, 12-14 in this. OH, & keep in mind that somehow in my agemorph-ness Mello is his post-scar smexiness. HOORAY FOR THE MAGIC OF FFs! :D**

**Random-ass Disclaimer: If I owned Death Note, Kira would be God, L would be justice, Light would be Santa, Misa would have her mouth permanently ducktaped shut, Near would be a cloud-sheep-sock-thing, Mello & Matt would be... idk... um... RANDOM PEOPLE KICKING FUCKING ASS, BB would be the Devil, Mikami wouldn't have fucked up at the end, & Takada would be the punching bag of the fans. So as you can see, I don't own Death Note.  
>What a shame : I think that would have been entertaining.**

* * *

><p><strong>Mr. Lukens:<strong> blah blah blah actually extremely hilarious history stuff blah blah blah

**Mr. Kraft:** HEYYYYYYYYY... I don't even know WTF I'm doing here anymore. I think you guys get the point.

**Mr. Lukens: **What? O.o

**Ariel: **YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? :DDD

**Ashley: **^^

**Aiden: **OHMYGODDDDDDDDD X.X

*Mikami, Aizawa, Soichiro, Matsuda, Ide, Mogi, Watari, Near, Matt, Mello, BB, Light, & L walk in*

**Mr. Lukens: **New students! Great! *slightly demonic grin*

**Class: ***slightly horrified faces, slightly just-as-demonic grins*

**L: **They're plotting... O.O" *still slightly freaked out from the Kendall-the-Antichrist incident*

**Mr. Kraft:** HAHA, I'm sure you guys will be fine... *exchanges a knowing look with Mr. Lukens*

**DN people: **...

**Mr. Kraft: **LOLOLBAI! *leaves*

**Mr. Lukens:** Just find a seat anywhe- we have no empty seats ^^" Well... Uh ehr... Anyone want to sit somewhere else?

**Ashley:** I do! *perverted grin*

**Ariel: **Not on mah Matty-kun ¬_¬

**Ashley: **Aw D':

**Mr. Lukens: **... *points to Ariel* You're telling me about this after class. *wicked grin* (He likes to know who's "together" so he can tease them... and avoid a certain incident that will not be elaborated on...) So... ANYONE ELSE?

**Ariel: **OH! MEH! MEH! *runs to the back of the class where there's a random kinda tall board-thing that separates one side of a random corner filled with crap* *somehow manages to climb up it* *perches self there* ^^

**Mello: ***pushes Aiden out of his seat & proceeds to sit in Ariel's* There ya go, Matt. ;D

**Matt: ***takes the seat, then sticks tongue out at Light* SUCK IT, KIRA.

**Light: **I'M NOT KIRA

**Matt: **Then why did you respond? I could have been sticking my tongue out at anyone.

**L: **...I'm not sure of the intentions of that comment...

**Light: **...

**Ashley: ***half mad at Ariel for abandoning her for the highest place in the room & half... well, more like 99/100 squealing over Matt & Mello sitting behind her* HEY. HEY ARIEL.

**Ariel:** ?

**Ashley: **凸(¬‿¬)凸

**Ariel:** '''{]з=(•‿●)=ε[}'''

**Ashley: **(॓_॔) AHHHHH EVERYONE RUN DX

**Everyone else: **... ... ... ... ...

**Mr. Lukens: **Ok... Anyone else?

Seriously?  
>...<p>

_-Sorry, the author is too lazy to come up with anyone else moving.-_

**Mr. Lukens: **... Ok then... you guys can sit on the floor... or... wherever you want...

**DN people **(besides Matt & Mello :P)** : ***find places to sit... far away from Ariel and Ashley*

**Ariel: ***having an ADHD episode again* *knocks random Gumby & Pokey figurines off the top of the board* TO YOUR DEAHTHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**Mr. Lukens: **:C NOOOOOOOOO

**Ariel: **MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

**DN people: **...wtfffffff...

**Class: ***used to random shit happening in this class*

**Mr. Lukens: **ANYWAYS~ Today we're making a mummy. I'll need 3 volunteers. I don't mean to be sexist, but the mummy needs to be a guy... because... well you'll see. Any volunteers?

**Like all the guys in the class:** *raise hands*

**Mr. Lukens: **Alright... How about... Dexter or Randy?

**Class: **DEXTER!

**Mr. Lukens: ***smirk* You sure you wanna do this?

**Dexter: **YEAH :D

**Mr. Lukens: **Ok... to make it fair, how about 2 female volunteers?

**Aiden: **WTF THAT'S NOT FAIR X.x

**Like all the girls in class: ***raise hands*

**Mr. Lukens: **Ok... Sarah & Aspen. *demonic grin... again.*

**DN people: ***wondering why the hell he keeps grinning*

**Mr. Lukens:** Oh, &, one more thing... *grinning super-uber-demonically again* Guess what?

**Everyone: **...? What?

**Mr. Lukens: **I brought back... MISA & TAKADA.

**Half of class **(anyone with half a brain) **: ***groan* Greaaaaaaaaat.

**Half of class **(mostly the pervs) **: **YESSSSSS.

**Misa & Takada: ***walk in*

**Misa: **~HEY,~ ~I'M,~ ~LIKE,~ ~BACK!~ ~YAY!~ ... *glares at Mello* Why chu shoot meh? D:

**Mello: **BECAUSE YOUR VOICE REPELS ALL INTELLIGENT THOUGHT. BECAUSE YOU WERE GIVING ME A HEADACHE. BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES YOU. BECAUSE YOU'RE A DUMBFUCK. I DON'T KNOW & I DON'T CARE BUT I WILL DO IT AGAIN IF YOU DON'T STFU.

**Ashley: **LOL!

**Misa: ***whimpers & hides behind Light* He's scary...

**Ashley: **LOL!

**Light: **GTFA FROM ME YOU SLUT DX

**Ashley: **LOL!

**Misa: **8'C

**Ashley:** LO- ok, this just isn't the same without Falcon DX

**Takada: ***smile* *slight cough* Hello Light.

**Light: **STFU whore ¬_¬

**Takada: ***frown* I really don't think-

**Light: **I SAID STFU AND AS GOD OF THE NEW WORLD I MEAN STFU! x.x

**L: **That's practically a confession...

**Light: **X.X ...I was just trying to get her to shut up. I didn't mean any of it ^^"

**L: **...Your point is valid... Part way. Only because it's Takada. 90% now, Light.

**Light: **X_X

_-The door magically and mysteriously opens, without anyone opening it from the inside.  
>Because it was opened from the outside.-<em>

**Jacqueline: **HEY~! I abandoned my favorite teacher Mr. Turner so that I could have more lines in this FF! :D

_-Meanwhile, in Mr. Turner's room-_

**Mr. Turner: **D': I feel so betrayed...

_-Back to Mr. Luken's~-_

**Jacquline: **But I'm sure he'll be fine ^^ Just because I'm his favorite student doesn't mean he can't go ONE CLASS PERIOD without me. ...Or for the rest of the school year... depending on what classes the Deatheh Noteh peoplz end up in... which I'm assuming is this one...

_-Mr. Turner's again-_

**Mr. Turner: **My bald senses are tingling... Jacqueline's... JACQUELINE'S NOT COMING BACK! D':

**Mallory: **Then I should probably go too ^^" *slips out of room and down the hall to Mr. Luken's room*

**Mr. Turner: **D'X

_-lol, poor Mr. Turner.  
>NOT.<br>MR. LUKEN'S!-_

**Mallory: **Yo.

**Ariel, Ashley, Jacqueline: **:O :D

_-Somewhere else in the building, I'm too lazy to actually go look for her, so here's a voice recording:-_

**Hannah: **Can I go to Mr. Luken's too? :D

**WhateverTeacherSheHas: **NO.

**Hannah: **DX ... *uses her magic frizzeh (sorreh, but it is xDx) hair to transport into Mr. Luken's room*

_-Mrs. Stephen's class-_

**Tori: **I NOW HAVE SEEN PART OF DEATH NOTE AND FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE INCLUDED IN THIS FIC =:) *poofles into Mr. Luken's room*

**Mrs. Stephens: **WOAH, I'm un-simultaneously-combusted! *starts going into how this is possible using sciency terms*

_-Again, I have no idea where they are, and I don't even know if they're in a class together, so here's a random voice recording.-_

**Mia: **AIYE COME TOO! :DD

**Rachel: **MEH TOO... er... THREH! :DDD ..er... FIEV! :DDDDD You coming, Madison?

**Madison: **Eh... FUCK YEAH.

*all three poof into Mr. Luken's*

_-NO. x.x TOO MANY PEOPLE. OUT. ...OUT. ... I SAID OUT! DX-_

*all five poof back into their original classrooms*

**Mia, Rachel, Madison: **DX Meanie.

_-From somewhere...-_

**Olivia: **What about me?

_-No. X.x x.X-_

**Olivia: **DX

_-Back to Mr. Luken's. Hopefully we'll stay here for a while. Thank God. I was getting dizzy.-_

**Mr. Lukens: ***Explaining that before they were put in their tombs, mummies had makeup and other shit put on them* *is putting lipstick, blush, eyeshadow, etc. on Dexter*

**Dexter: ***giggling gayly*

**Light: **Ux2... Tea... Eff...

**Matt: **Hey, he almost looks like Mels whe-

**Mello: ***kicks Matt where it hurts*

**Matt: **D'X

**Ashley: **DON'T DAMAGE IT! DDD:

**Mello: **...Damage _what? _._.

**Ariel: **UDUNWANNAKNO.

**Matt and Mello: **...

**Misa: **You know, Dexter, if you wanted a makeover, I could do it much better. This old guy keeps smudging everything!

**Mr. Lukens: **'This old guy'? !

**Dexter: ***unable to respond do to the fact that Mr. Lukens is putting cherry red lipstick on him* ...

_-Blah blah blah stuff happens the writer has WB stuff happens there's chicken hearts and Dexter gets wrapped up like a mummy then put in a box and now he came out & is going to wash the shit off his face-_

**Light: **o.o DON'T LET HIM ANYWHERE NEAR ME! HE'LL MESS UP MY HAIR!

**L: **...Light-kun, how much time do you spend on your hair?

**Jacqueline: **...How do you not know that? You were handcuffed to him for, like, months!

**L: **No I wasn't. If you hadn't noticed, this fanfiction is, you know, JUST SLIGHTLY AU.

**Jacqueline: **AU... why didn't I think of that? *starts muttering and writing random DN shit and spacing out*

**Light: **... ... ... Only an hour.

**L: **You spend an hour on your hair.

**Light: **...Yes...

**L: ***sighs and shakes his head*

**Abbigail: ***poofs into the classroom*

_-x_x I said NO MORE PEOPLE! GET OUT!-_

**Abbigail: **But I have something IMPORTANT to say! D:

_-...Fine...-_

**Ariel: **TAWNY :DDD How'd you get here from Oklahoma? Is Moony here with you? Can I meet your brother Matt? He sounds awesome... I've been practicing some video games, I wanna see if I could beat him... FUCK IT, I wanna see Matt & Matt face off! :DDD

**Matt **(Death Note) **: **...A challenger? *sly grin*

**Abbigail: **ABYSS :DDD Um... I honestly don't know, no, no, he is, lolllllll you suck, I doubt your skillz, AND OMK YES :DDD

**Ariel: **TAWNY :DDD ..., D:, D:, :D, ..., ..., :DDD

**Light: **How the Hell are you keeping up with your conversation?

**Abbigail: **Eh, we're used to it. Our conversations tend to go wildly off topic, but we manage to bring it back... usually...

_-EHEM, you had something IMPORTANT to say?-_

**Abbigail: **OHYEAH! Light, you're an adopted Canadian, and Matt is Australian.

_- ... -_

**Light: **. . .

**Matt: **WTF mate?

**Jacqueline: **EWWWW Canadiansssss... (I'd like to put right here that neither the author nor any people seen making fun of Canadians in this fic have anything against Canadians. Canada (and assorted other nations, like, heck, the US, for an example) are just fun to make fun of.)

**Light: **So I'm not ImAGay anymore, right?

**Abbigail: **No...

**Light: **Well, at least that's one thing...

**Abbigail: **...No meaning that since your Canadian parents didn't care enough about you to even name you your first and only real name is Light Yagami.

**Light: **So I'm "ImAGay" AND Canadian?

**Abbigail: **Yup. SORRY~ *poofs back to Oklahoma*

**Ariel: **DDD:

**Jacqueline: **HEY LIGHTBULB IMAGAY~

**Mallory: **HAHA you're Canadian!

**Light: **. . . . .

**L: **HAHA Light-kun is Canadian & ImAGay~

**Light: **...L, was that REALLY necessary?

**L: **Nope. *insert epic troll face here*

**Light: **. . . . . . .

_-Meanwhile-_

**Ashley: ***explaining her entire life story to Matt and Mello*

**Mello: ***totally ignoring her* So, Matt... You're Australian...

**Matt: **I guess...

**Mello: **...

**Matt: **...

**Mello: **You know, I'm not really sure I can be friends with an Australian...

**Matt: **You're an asshole, you know that? X.X

_-Pfffffffft that's mean Mello. And after he saved your ass last chapter~-_

**Mello: **I also saved his ass a few times...

_-You gave him up to save yourself, then saved him afterwards, and then he saved you from Rem. So technically he saved you twice.-_

**Mello: **... Didn't I shoot you?

_-Yeah. But you also shot Misa and Takada, and they're fine now, now aren't they?-_

**Mello: **. . . *shoots the invisible voice*

**Bullets: **WHIZZZ WE GONN- *cough cough* D: sowwyz, weh haz strep throat D:

_-OWW. HOW THE FUCK IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE? I'M FUCKING INVISIBLE! HOW THE FUCK AM I STILL GETTING SHOT AND SET ON FIRE? _I'M _THE ONE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO CAUSE CHAOS!-_

**Mello: ***snicker*

**Matt: **...You're still an asshole.

**Ashley: **(something about her favorite color? Eh, who cares.)

**Ariel: **...What IS your favorite color? Like, no one knows...

**Ashley: **That's something you'll never know ;)

**Ariel: **. . .

**Vivian: ***poofs into the room*

_-...I'm not even gonna try anymore...-_

**Ariel: **Vivi! :DD ...WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE? O.o you live in freakin' GERMANY... OMG AVENUEEEEE HELLLOOOOOOOO :DD ...WTF ARE YOU DOING HE- (like broken record...)

**Vivian: **THE CAKE WAS NOT A LIE! *poofs*

**Ariel: **...Well duh! -hasn't bought Portal 2 yet, but the ending is kinda obvious...-

**Matt: **OF COURSE THE CAKE WASN'T A LIE~ :D

**L: **CAEK? :DD

**Rachel **(will be called Shadeh for now because of the other Rachel...) **: ***poofs in* . . . _WHAT_ THE _FUCK?_ I ALMOST BEAT THE BOSS LEVEL!

_- . . . Fuck you all.-_

**Ariel: **SHADEHNESSSSSSSSS C:

**Shadeh****: **ABYSSEHNESSSSSSSSS C: ...Wait... How did you know it was me?

**Matt: **I think she read the script when she stole my DS.

_-...YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!-_

**Ariel: **MAYYYYYBEEEEEEEE ^~^

**Shadeh: **OMGHAI~ (to Deatheh Noteh Peoplz)

**Light: **OHMYME...

**God: **. . .

Where the Hell is Jesus?  
>...<p>

-_...meanwhile...-_

**Jesus:** *twitching on the floor in the Choir room* Halp... Meh...

_-meannnnnwhileeeeeeeeee-_

**God: **Eh, I'm sure he's fine.

_-OKAY, LEAVE.-_

**Vivian and Shadeh: ***poof*

_-At Shadeh's/Rachel's __house-_

**Shadeh: **...FUCKIN' SERIOUSLY? *glares at -whatevergameshewasplaying-*

_-Back at Mr. Luken's...-_

**Mello:** *shoots more people* *blows more shit up*

-*this is getting REALLY repetitive*-

-*everyone's dead*-

_-later-_

-*everyone's not dead?*-

_-In Oklahoma? O.o-_

**Abbigail:** Pffffffffft Matty got PWN'd.

**Matt **(Death Note) **: **FUCK. YOU.

**Matt **(Tawny's brother) **:** What he said x,x

**Abbigail: ***snicker* Always choose Oddjob when playing GoldenEye ^^

FINISH.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Seriously, try the Oddjob thing. You will most likely be called a dick, or a bitch, or something of the sort, BUT IT WORKS.**


	5. Choir 1st Period 8TH

**A/N: Random skipping to 8th grade upon the request of Jax, because I was like 2 weeks late on her b-day chapters & she came up with some funny shit so blah blah blah DEAL WITH IT!**

**Everyone except the teachers, Mr. Kraft (principal,) Watari, Roger, the SPK, & the task force are, like, 12-14 in this. OH, & keep in mind that somehow in my agemorph-ness Mello is his post-scar smexiness. HOORAY FOR THE MAGIC OF FFs! :D**

**Random-ass Disclaimer: I... do not own Death Note. GET I' THROUGH YE THICK SKULLS, YE BILGE RATS!**

**...Sorry. I think it's one of the side affects of having your Facebook set to English (Pirate).**

**But just in case, maybe I should get that checked.**

* * *

><p><strong>Mr. Noderer:<strong> blah blah blah boring choir stuff blah blah blah

**Mr. Kraft:** Hey... You're all taller now...

**Jacqueline: **YEAHHHH 8TH GRADE

**Light: **How... does this make sense?

**Ariel: **IT DOESN'T NOW SIT YOUR FUCKING OBSESSIVECOMPULSIVEDISORDERY POTATOCHIPEATING ASSBITCHTOALL KIRA ASS DOWN!

**Light:** ಠ3ಠ No.

**Ariel: **THHHHHHHHH-

**Light: **The fucking hell? ! ._.

**Ariel:** -THHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

**Light: **0.o

**Ariel:** -THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

**Light: **Fine I'll sit down just stop that!

**Ariel:** -THHHHH-

**Light: **I'M SITTING I'M SITTING! *sits*

**Matt: ***walks in*

**Jacqueline: **Hey Mattiekinzzz! :D

**Matt: ***glares at Jax suspiciously and clutches his antisocialfluffehvestthingWTF tighter*

**Jacqueline: **I'M SORRYYYYYY D: SEBBIFRED MADE ME DO IT I SWEAR D:

**Ariel: **YOU'RE the one who asked for the chapter(S)!

**Jacqueline:** It was my birthday!

**Ariel: **So? You asked to annoy Matt and Mello, so I-

_-ENOUGH! That is talk for another fic!-_

**Ariel: **Fine...

**Mr. Noderer: **Alright. Everyone pull out your music for I Go Among Trees and a sheet of paper. I want you all to write down what this song means to you!

**Ariel: **Well, let's see... It seems to me... That it's about a dude... Who's really emocidal...

**Jacqueline: **So he quits his job and leaves his sickly, half-dead wife to take care of their 34246234 kids...

**Ariel: **And he goes out into a random uncharted forest. And in this forest, all the trees are dancing around a satanic/self-sacrificing/cannibalistic campfire... And the dude's like... 'What the fuck? !' and he gets all scared.

**Jacqueline: **But, thing is, the trees are just as scared of him as he is of them, so they start dancing away like 'AhHhHhHh'... AND THEN THEIR FEAR

**Ariel: **COMES OUT IN A PHYSICAL FORM

**Jacqueline: **AND COMBINES! And then they're all happy yay! :D

**Ariel: **SHARK O.O

**Everyone else: ** . . . I... don't even... want... to know...

**Mr. Noderer: **For plot's sake, I'm going to assume you're all done with the assign-

**Like 20 people: **NO! We're not done yet! D:

**Mr. Noderer: **... Fine. You have five minutes.

_-*starts humming the Jeopardy theme*-_

**L:** No... Not this song... Watari and Light and all of them... Always taunting me... With this song...

**Olivia: **Uh... Yo, L, you okay?

**L: **...Always...Forever...Never stops...

**Olivia: **._. ... L, are you alright?

**L: **...Forever playing...Never stopping...Always in my head!

**Olivia: **ASDASGDHSFHSDGFDSFSD WHAT IS THISSSSSSSSSSSS DX

**L: ***snaps out of it* What's wrong with you? O.o

**Olivia: **. . .

**Mr. Noderer: **Okay, you're done now.

**10 random-ass people:** WHAT?

**Mr. Noderer: **I would make you all share, but the author doesn't feel like it. So I'll just tell you the true meaning of the song. What it is is that a man is miserable so in order to escape the world he goes into nature to find peace. If you didn't get that then you're stupid.

**Ariel: ** . . . I did not get that AT ALL.

**Mr. Noderer: **So now that you've written what this song is about, you're going to sing it perfectly, even though you've only heard it once in your life and this is the hardest song I've ever given ANY choir, of ANY age. BTW, this song was written specifically for the best college choir in the country. You'll do great with no help whatsoever!

**Everyone:** ... WTF? DX

_-Okay, even to me that seems awful...-_

**Choir: **(singing) I go... Among tree-E-ees...

**Randy:** Reid sounds flat... and Jacqueline sounds sharp...

**Zack: **Doesn't that make it cancel out?

**Randy: **N-

**BB:** *bursts in through the newly repaired window* YOU WANT SHARP, BITCH? *stabs Randy*

**Randy: **...You... YOU STABBED ME!

**BB: **No shit, Sherlock!

**Randy:** *bleeding out on floor*

**Mr. Noderer: **Randall! Get up! You're ruining the carpet!

**Randy: ***still bleeding out* X.x

**Jacqueline: **Thanks big bwuduh :3 *hugs BB*

**BB:** No problem, little sis! :)

**Randy: **He's you're brother? !

**BB: ***messes up Jacqueline's hair playfully*

**Jacqueline: **WTFNO. DISOWNAAAAAAAAAAGGGGEEEEEE. *shaking hands in telephone/'call me' position & pulling them towards her as she fades into a dark corner*

**BB: **D:

**Ariel: **AAAAAAHHHHHH NOOOOO THE CAKE IS A LIEEEEEEE!

**Olivia: ***GLaDOS voice... somehow* There really was... a cake... you know...

**Ariel: **Don't forget garnishes such as; Fish shaped crackers, Fish shaped candies, Fish shaped solid waste, Fish shaped dirt, Fish shaped ethyl benzene...

**Olivia: **Pull and peel licorice, Fish shaped volatile organic compounds, and Sediment shaped sediment...

**Ariel: **Candy coated peanut butter pieces shaped like fish, One cup lemon juice, Alpha resins, Unsaturated polyester resin, Fiberglass surface resins, and Volatile malted milk impoundments...

**Lily: ***pops out of computer*

_-O.o ...-_

**Lily: **Nine large egg yolks, Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes, One cup granulated sugar... *goes back into computer.*

_-... What the...-_

**The entire class by now: **What... the fuckkkkkk...

**Ariel: **An entry called 'How to Kill Someone With Your Bare Hands'...

**Matt: **Two cups rhubarb, sliced! Two-thirds a cups granulated rhubarb, One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb, One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb, Three tablespoons rhubarb... on fire.

**Olivia:** One large rhubarb, One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb, two tablespoons rhubarb juice...

**Tawny:** *poofs in*

_-Oh dear God, not again...-_

**Tawny: **Adjustable aluminum head positioner... Slaughter electric needle injector... Cordless electric needle injector... *poofs out*

**Vivian: ***le poof* Injector needle driver, Injector needle gun, Cranial caps... *poof le*

**Ariel: **And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue. ;)

**Everyone but Ariel, Matt, & Olivia... Even Ryuk, who just came through the wall: **. . .

_-... I... don't even know what to do here. I have no fucking idea what just happened. Congratulations.-_

**Matt: **...What? There's nothing wrong here.

**Everyone but Ariel, Matt, & Olivia: **. . .

**Ariel, Matt, & Olivia: **...

**Everyone but Ariel, Matt, & Olivia: **. . .

**Ariel, Matt, & Olivia: **...

**Everyone but Ariel, Matt, & Olivia: **. . .

_-...Enough of... whatever that was. e.e-_

**Ariel:** *ze awesome Turret impersonation* No hard feelings~

**Mello: ***walks in*

_-...I know! I'll set him on fire! That'll distract everyone from... whatever that was! :D-_

**Mello: **WHAT? ...How many times to I have to shoot you before you're dead? ! X.x

**Ariel: **DON'T FORGET I SET IT ON FIRE =D

_-*weighs options* ... Nevermind. Live in peace. *sigh*-_

**Jacqueline: **Hey Near... Where's Rachel?

**Near: ***runs (? Can he do that? I've never seen him stand, let alone _run_...) over and clamps hand over Jacqueline's mouth* DO NOT SPEAK HER NAME IN MY PRESENCE. EVER. SHE WILL FIIIIIIIIIIIND MEEEEEEEEEEEE... *trails off into a whine/cry*

**Jacqueline: ***oblivious to what Near is doing* ...Oh, that's right! She's in high school now! :)

_-...Meanwhile...-_

**Mallory and Tori: ***poof in in front of Mello* GLITTERFAIRY! -*POOF!*- *glitter explodes from their hands* *poof out*

**Mello: ***completely covered in glitter. As in, you see eyes, mouth, and glitter.* *pissed as fuck* *collapses to the ground and starts shrieking as smoke rises*

**Matt: **Oh come on Mello stop being such a baby :P It's just glitter! =P

**Mello: ***is somehow standing again, though he never got up* *pauses, turns 180 degrees... slowly* How. About. A Hug.

**Matt: **N-n-n-n-no thanks...

**Mello: ***walks over and holds arms out* I SAID; How. About. A Hug.

**Matt:** N-n-no... Really, th-th-that won't be necessary... ^^;

**Mello: ***goes all snake/cat on Matt and rubs glitter all over him*

**Matt: **AHHHHHH IT BURNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! DX

**Jacqueline: **B-b-but... Glitter only burns the unpure and uninnocent... WAIT OHMYGOSH

**Ariel: **XDDDD Well, Mello's killed people... kidnapped people... other mafia-esque things... What's Matt done? ;)

**Jacqueline: **AHHHHHHHH MY EYESSSSSSSSS AND MY MINDDDDDDDDDDDD, MY POOOOOORRRRRRR BLONDDDDDDD, INNOCENT MINDDDDDDDDDD

**Ariel: **Pffft...

**Mello & Matt: ***snaking around, rubbing glitter on everyone*

**Mr. Noderer: ***Now covered head-to-toe in glitter* BD

_-... Errr... in the meantime...-_

**Light: ***writhing in pain as is engulfed by the glitter*

**L: **One hundred percent, Light.

_-MEANWHILE!-_

**Misa: **DERP

_-MEANWHILEEEEE-_

**Matt from the Past: ***poofs in* I've got a big bag of crabs here! I'm gonna put them in my mouth, OH YES! I'm gonna run around the town on a market day, Everyone will look at me and say- I've got a mouthful of crabs! *runs around with crabs in mouth, bleeding like crazy, rubbing his face into the floor and leaving bloodstains everywhere* DIBBIDI DIBBIDI DOBBIDI DOO GANADA GIDDI GLIDDI DOO JANNADA JANNADA JANNI DEE! That's how I sound with a mouth full of crabs!

**Mello: **... *turns to Matt* You were a _dumbass_ when you were younger.

**Matt: **... Hunh. I don't remember being _that_ stupid...

_-Lalalala MEANWHILE~-_

**Ariel: **HEY! HEY LIGHT! I think I found your birth parents' number! Should I call it?

**Light: **...I...guess?...

**Ariel: ***dials*

**Voice message: **_We're sorry. The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please go home and never dial this number again. Thank you._

**Light: **...

**Ariel: **=/ Sad, but impressive. Maybe they work at a phone company?...  
>...HEY MELLO, I THINK I FOUND YOUR BIRTH PARENTS' NUMBER! SHOULD I CALL I-<p>

**Mello: ***still covered in glitter* *pulls out gun* Try it. Juuuuuust try it.

**Ariel: **...Fien.  
>RELEASE THE KRAKEN!<br>Err...  
>THE FANGIRLS!<p>

_-Aiye, Aiye, Capta- ...Wait... What the fuck?  
>...<em>  
><em>Whatever.<em>  
><em>*opens gate in the wall*<em>  
><em>...<em>  
><em>Funny how that wasn't here before.- <em>

**Random-ass fangirls: ***come stampeding out* *latch themselves to Matt and Mello*

**Mello: **GAHHH! Why don't they ever attack the others? DX

**Matt: **You know, if they weren't so rabid... This would actually not be that ba-

**Mello: ***punches Matt* NO.

**Matt: ***punches back* What the fuck, man?

**Mello: ***punches Matt again* This is your fault.

**Matt: ***punches Mello back again* WTF no it's not!

**Mello: ***punches Matt back* YES IT IS!

**Matt: ***punches Mello back* HOW? Crazychick did this because of YOU!

**Mello: ***punches Matt back* WELL IF YOU HADN'T-

**Matt: ***punches Mello* IF I HADN'T WHAT? WHAT DID I DO TO CAUSE THIS?

**Mello: ***punches Matt* ... FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

**Matt: ***punches Mello* SO THERE'S NO POINT TO THIS!

**Mello: ***punches Matt* NO, THIS IS YOUR FAU-

**Matt: ***punches Mello* TWELVE!

**Mello: ***punches Matt* TWELVE!

**Matt: ***punches Mello* TWELVE!

**Mello: ***punches Matt* TWELVE!

**Matt: ***punches Mello* TWELVE!

**Mello: ***punches Matt* THIRTEE-

**Matt: **...Alright, I have a plan. But first... *punches Mello again*

**Mello: **HEY! *raises fist*

**Matt: **You punched me first. That was fair. Now, listen to plan?

**Mello: **...Fine.

**Matt: ***whispery whispery* *whispery whispery*

**Mello: **B-b-b-but...

**Matt: **IT'S THE ONLY WAYYYYYYYYYY-

**Mello: **...

**Matt: **-AYYYYYYYY-

**Mello: **...

**Matt: **-AYYYYYYY-

**Mello: ***punch*

**Matt: **...Okay, I deserved that.

**Mello: ***awkward cough* So... Shall we get started on the plan?

**Matt:** ... Hn... I suppose it can't be avoided.

**Mello: **We'll never be able to live this down, you know.

**Matt: **Yes, I know... *sigh*

**Mello: **And Jax will be all over us. *sigh*

**Matt: **Better her than all of _them._ *shakes fangirl off arm*

**Mello: **Well, here we go. Throwin' pride out the fuckin' window.

**Matt: **...

**Mello: **...

**Matt: **...

**Mello: **...

_-Hn, sounds like angst. Almost makes me wonder what they're 'plan' is. Except for the fact that I already know...__-_

**Mr. Noderer: **I want you all to be tolerant of everyone, no matter their skin color, religion, nationality, whatever. We're all people! :D

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeah. I don't want to do this. ...I REALLY don't want to do this. XDX But it's fuckin' hilarious. So... *deep breath*...**

* * *

><p><strong>Mello and Matt: <strong>*deep breath* *start making out*

**Mr. Noderer:** WTFNOTOLERANCE! D:= *simultaneously combusts*

**All the fangirls: ***stop with random glomping and gather around in a circle, watching intently*

**Jacqueline: **ಠ‿ರೃ *shiny eyes as watches*

**Ariel: **NoOoOoOoOoOoOo... *pulls out gun & holds it to temple*

**Mello: ***looks up* WTFNO! *pulls out own gun and aims it at Ariel* DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT!

**Ariel: **...You're going to shoot me if I shoot myself? That doesn't make any sense!

**Mello: **...Hunh... It doesn't make any sense... ... ... ... *suddenly holds his gun to his own head* THERE! NOW DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT!

**Ariel: **...That doesn't really make sense either!

**Mello: **...

**Ariel: **...

**Mello: **...

**Ariel: **...

**Mello: **...

**Ariel: **...BUT AT LEAST I KNOW YOU CARE! :D *glomps Mello*

**Mello: **...Fuck my life. Just fuck it.

**Matt: **IMPOSSIBRU! (~ರnರ)~

**Mello:** ...Wait, aren't you the one that set the fangirls on me in the first place? *nonchalantly punches Matt*

**Ariel: **...Hunh... WELL LET'S FORGET THAT YAYYYYY MELLO CAREZ.

**Mello: **... FML.

**Ariel: **I'M COMING BACK WITH MATCHEZZZZZZZZZZZZ

**Mello:** *shoots more people* *blows more shit up*

-*The author should really be more original with the way she ends this shit.*-

-*Period.*-

-*...*-

-*This is inexcusable.*-

-*...*-

-*...Everyone's dead.*-

_-later-_

-*Everyone's not dead? (surprise!)*-

_-...Somewhere...-_

**The Task Force, Roger, Takada, Watari: **...Where the fuck are we?

**The SPK: **Fuck that, where the fuck are WE?

DIE EINDE.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, wasn't that fun. :)**


	6. Wellness 8TH

**A/N: Hey guys! I, um... Have an announcement.**

**[Said Anouncement: Our dear author and her cronies' obsession has switched from Death Note... to Hetalia. Also, I've pretty much run out of ideas... So this may or may not be the last chapter of Death Note School CRACK... But don't worry too much, young ponhappitons! I will continue the series... As a Hetalia ff. I'm not sure how much more I can do with these characters while making it relevant to, well, the characters. It's become more like just me & my friends having weird inside jokes with the DN guys there watching. =/ I will also be changing the name to School Crack: Death Note. I might pick this back up, but for now (err... whenever I get around to it,)**** School Crack: Hetalia will be my plot-less school crackfic. x3**

**HOWEVER, THIS CHAPPIE SHALL BE LONG. -ISH.]**

**I'd like to thank all my reviewers for being totally epics awesums peoplez;  
>I am L with a death note, Eru no Tsubasa, Sho-Kun1301, eternalsnowfox, lightning027, Do You Like My Sexy Hair, Exploading albino potato, and SophieSynthetic !<br>Seriously, guys, ICH LIEBE DICH.**

**And of course, I'd like to thank Jacqueline ((who was, but is no longer) jakethedog), Hannah (BeyondEvolandGrace), Tori (fanggirl01), Tawny (TawnyShine), Olivia (shesshygirl11), **Ashley (QueenofAshes), **and all the random people without ff accounts (that I know of...) for being awesome enough to let me be your puppeteer... Not like they actually got a choice in it anyway }]**

**SO MANY RANDOM REFERENCES THIS CHAPTER. XDX**

* * *

><p><strong>Jacqueline: <strong>It's just such a vulnerable feeling; lying on the ground, half naked...

**Ariel: **Well, I think that that's probably the weirdest intro we've ever had.

**Hannah: **I concur :I

**Tori: **O.o

**Olivia: **...wtf class is this? ! We don't all have a single class all together, WTF?

_-You're outside walking, dumbass X.x Seriously... are you all blind? !-_

*parking lot set appears with about a hundred kids walking in a circle with a few adults not watching*

**Mallory: **I feel the sudden urge to punch the air to my right.

_-... Yeah, well, your faise.-_

**Lily (will now be called... um... Bruder-Shwester-Thingy from now on, because of the two 'Lily's...) : **Woah, why am I here? I'm in 7th grade, I shouldn't be outside right no-

**Jacqueline: **I THINK SOMEONE PUT POT IN MY WATER! LET'S SING DISNEY SONGS!

**Ariel, Hannah, Mallory, Sophia: **YEAH! :D

**Marie, Lily, Bruder-Shwester-Thingy, Olivia, Ashley, Tori: **O.o *facepalm*

**Jacqueline, Ariel, Hannah, Mallory, Sophia, Matt, Ryuk: **LET'S. GET DOWN. TO BUSINESS! -TO DEFEAT, THE HUNS! DID. THEY SEND ME. DAUGHTERS, WHEN I ASKED, FOR SONS? YOU'RE THE SAAADEST BUNCH I'VE EVER MET, BUT YOU CAN BET, BEFORE WE'RE THROOOOOOOUUUGHHHH... IIIIIIIIIIII'LLLLLLLLLLLL, MAKE A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNN, OUT OF YOUUUUUUUUUUU!

**L: **...What exactly is the point of this?

**Jacqueline, Ariel, Hannah, Mallory, Sophia, Matt, Ryuk:** I've heard, there was, a secret chord~ That David played, and it pleased the Lord~ But you don't really care for music, do ya? It goes like this; The fourth, the fifth! The minor fall; the major lift! The baffled king, composing, Hallelujah~ Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelujah... Hallelu~ooo~ooo~oooyah...

**Mello: **...You guys realize that Shrek was a Dreamworks movie, right?

**Ariel: **Mello! You had a childhood? !

**Mello: **...

****Jacqueline, Ariel, Hannah, Mallory, Sophia, Matt, Ryuk: ****WELL YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN TAKE ME ON? YOU MUST BE CRAZEH! 'CAUSE AIN'T A SINGLE THING YOU'VE DONE, IS GONNA PHASE MEH! OH, BUT IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A GO, I JUST WANNA LET YOU KNOOOOOOOWWWWW... GET OFF OF MAH BAHCK, AND INTO MY GAME! GET OUTTA MAH WAY AND OUTTA MAH BRAIN! GET OUTTA MAH FAISE, OR GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT! I THINK IT'S TIME, YOU BETTER FACE THE FACT... GET OFF O' MAH BACK!

**Mello:** AGAIN, A DREAMWORKS MOVIE!

**Ariel, Mallory, Hannah, Ryuk: **DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY, DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY, THEY'RE WORTH A LOT OF MONEY, DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!

**Jacqueline, Sophia, Matt:** WE'VE GOTTA GET AWAY, WE'VE GOTTA GET AWAY! WE WON'T LIKE IT IN THE ZOO, WE'VE GOTTA GET AWAY! WE'VE GOTTA RUN AND HIDE! WE'VE GOTTA RUN AND HIDE! IF THEY TAKE US TO THE ZOO, THEY'LL LOCK US UP INSIDE! WE'VE GOTTA GET AWAY, WE'VE GOTTA GET AWAY, DON'T LIKE IT IN THE ZOO, WE'VE GOTTA GET AWAY! WE'VE GOT TO STAY AHEAD, WE'VE GOTTA STAY AHEAD, IF THEY TAKE US TO THE ZOO WE'LL WISH WE WERE DEAD!

**Mello: **...You've got to be kidding me. T.T LIFE WORK CORPORATION! NOT DISNEY!

****Jacqueline, Ariel, Hannah, Mallory, Sophia, Matt, Ryuk: ****WE COULDA HAD IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA~ALL, ROLLIN' IN THE DEEEEEEEEEEEEE~EEP! YOU HAD MAH HEART INSIDE, YO HA-AHND! AND YOU PLAYED ET, YOU PLAYED ET, YOU PLAYED ET... to the beat~

**Mello: **...THAT'S NOT EVEN-

****Jacqueline, Ariel, Hannah, Mallory, Sophia, Matt, Ryuk:**** WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO, WHO? WHO, WHO? WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO, WHO? WHO, WHO? WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO, WHO? WHO, WHO? I REALLY WANNA KNOW~ WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU? WHO, WHO? WHO, WHO? COME ON TELL ME, WHO ARE YOU? YOU? YOU? Ohhh, you~?...

**Mello: **T.T *grabs Matt by his fluffehvestthingwtf* Matt, we're leaving.

**Matt: **What do you think of CSI?

**Everyone but Mello and Matt: **'I like CSI' 'CSI is good' 'Well I love CSI' 'Sometimes I jack off to- ...nevermind.' 'I enjoy watching CSI.'

**Mello: **T.T

**Matt: -**MIAMI!

**Everyone but Mello and Matt: **. . . *shoots themselves*

**Mello: **... *starts dragging Matt*

**Matt: ***grabs Mello's hair and yanks, looking at him with wide, accusing eyes* HOW COULD YOU? ! ALL THEY WANTED WAS TO SING AND LOVE YOU! AND YOU KILLED THEM!

_-Meanwhile~-_

**Mikami, The Task Force, The SPK, Watari, Roger, Near, Takada, Misa: ***stuck in Madagascar. In a blizzard. What the fuck.*

**Aizawa:** ...Well this sucks.

**Mikami, Task Force, Watari, Roger, Near, Takada, Misa:** It's your purpose in life to leave us out of this, isn't it, Miss Author?

**The SPK:** *walk in behind them* ...We've been left out for four chapters. And we had _one_ line in the last chapter. At the very end. And an action/setting at the beginning of this one. You have. No right. To complain.

**Gevanni: ***glaring at Near*

**Jacqueline: **Ohhhhhh Gevanniiiiii Don't be maaad! _Just _because you were practically Near's pageboy, and the Matsuda of the SPK (though it wasn't your fault...), and treated like the idiot your not, and never given a chance to do anything... doesn't mean you get to be mean! :D

**Gevanni: **. . . I hate you.

**Jacqueline: **D:

_-Wait, when/how did she even GET here? !-_

**Ariel: **Eh... I think this is the afterlife or something.

_-...What the... That's... I don't even...-_

**Marie: **Yeah, pretty much.

_-...-_

**Marie: **My life. In a nutshell.

**Hannah: **Your fault for not being an anime fan xP

**Ariel: **RANDOM M-PREG!

**All guys present: ***babies randomly shoot from the guys onto the ground, most of them breaking their necks upon impact*

**EVERYONE but Ariel: **...the actual fucking fuck? !

**Ariel: **I BLAME STEPHANO & WHEATLEY! I NEVER TRUSTED EITHER OF THEM! Stephano looks all innocent, and gold, and statue-ish... And Wheatley is so moronic... JUST FURTHER PROOF!

_-...IDEK... Again, you all never cease to... horrify me.-_

**Mallory: **That's our job C:

**Marie: ***punches some random dude*

**Ben:** GAH! DUDE, WHAT THE HELL? I'M A CRIPPLE D:

**Ariel: **You've had that thing on your foot forever! You're not a cripple! Suck it the fuck up! D:{ *rakes 'claws' down Mallory's random sunburn, which is reallySUPERbad and so red it's almost brown*

**Mallory: ***responds by punching Ariel in the face*

**Ariel: **THIS IS MY LIEFFFFFFFFFFF D:{

**Ben: **;A; Okay, okay... I just wanted an appearance, man...

**Ariel: **GTFO.

**Ben: **But-

**Ariel: **I said, I've got an idea; Why don't you little 'crippled' weirdo get on a leaky, rickety little riverraft and GET THE **FUCK** OFF THE ISLAND, huh! ? D:{

**Ben: **... D:

**Ariel: **Sail around the world until you hit Antartica. When you get there, commit genocide on any native indigenous penguins; have a groovy time. Knock yourself out. Have an ice trial! Let us know how that works out for ya. We'll be back here having a pahtay, if anyone needs us.

**Ben: **. . . D:

**L: **...Wasn't that senselessly- and randomly- cruel? And... just generally random?

**Ariel: **DO YOU WANT TO SUFFER THE SAME FAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE?

**L: **.-. No... But I really don't...

**Ariel (along with a bunch of creepy back-up people/voices... O.o) : **SUFFERRRRRRRRRR...

**L: **I'M GOOD...

**Ariel (same) :** FAAAAAAATE...

_-Okay, I am THROUGH WITH THIS. It's even worse here than at your school! I AM GOING BACK! *poof*-_

**Everyone: ***poofed back to the school as well*

_-...Are you kidding me? !-_

**Tawny: ***being chased by the Buckner [Pedo!] Bear* AHHHHHHHHHH D: DON'T LOOK BACK DON'T LOOK BACK DON'T LOOK BACK DON'T LOOK BA- JESUS PENIS, WHY DID YOU LOOK BACK WHY DID YOU LOOK BACK WH- Oh hey Mr. Shair :3 *hides behind random chair, sees Jax's 'discarded' water bottle* Somebody's been drinking :I This is just like my hou- I mean what? No, bad Tawny. No drinking jokes. X3 At least there's not period everywhe-... HAHA! *picks up bottle and throws it at the Buckner Bear* :D . . . OHWAITNO WHY DID I DO THAT NOW HE'LL SEE ME! MR. SHAIR HIIIIIIIIDE MEEEEEEEEE-HEEEEEE... *picks up chair & holds it over her head*

**Death Note crew: **...Dafuq?

**Buckner [Pedo] Bear: ***Runs around, taking out his confusion about his deep homosexual feelings out on random objects*

**Tawny: **You mad brah? You can't do SHIT brah, you can't do SHIT!

**Buckner [Pedo] Bear: ***going back to the elementary school, when suddenly he turns around super fast* IT'S RAPING TIME. *starts licking lips & getting all creepy... & turning blue/purple.*

**Tawny: **AHHHHHH BITCH YOU SO UGLYYYYYYYY!

**Hannah:** TAWNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! :D

**Buckner [Pedo] Bear: ***poofs*

**Tawny: **Goddammit, I SOOO knew that was gonna be a poofer... Yeah...

**Bruder-Shwester-Thingy: **Who're you?

**Tawny: **I'm (Canada!) a Tawny... **And I'm gonna stay here FOREVAR...**

**Jacqueline: **RANDOM WTF CHEESE PUFFS!

**EVERYONE: ***crowds around*

**Mysterious squeaking: ***Mysterious squeak*

**Misa: **EEEEEEEK! OMG A RAT!

**Tawny: ***bends down to pick up little white mouse with red eyes* CRUMPET! :D There you are!

**Crumpet:** (voice is obviously Tawny's...) Oh herro Tawny! Gawsh you are just so cool and I'll stick with you forever! We'll have amazing adventures, and you'll protect me from zombies with your coolness!

**Tawny: **Oh, Crumpet, you flatter me! (:

**Light, L, Mello, Matt, Near: **T.T

**Tawny: **I AM A VENTRILOQUI- . . . BARRELS.

**Ariel and Tawny: ***pull out random guns and begin shooting random barrels... THAT ARE FULL OF ALCOHOL! }:D*

**Mello, Matt, Misa, Ariel, Tawny, Mallory, Marie, Bruder-Shwester, Matsuda, a bunch o' random teachers: **WE HAVE RANDOM DRINKING PROBLEMS BEGINNING NOW! }:D AND MOST OF US ARE UNDERAGE! C:{

**SPK, L, Soichiro, Aizawa, Mogi: ***DISAPPROVAL*

**Jacqueline: **I'll be the designated driver! :D

**Marie: **STFU! EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN'T DRIVE FOR SHIT!

**Jacqueline: **...This is true. HANNAH IS DESIGNATED DRIVER!

**Hannah: **B-b-but... Vodka...

**Ariel: **THIS. IS. PASTAAAAA!

**Mello:** *shoots more people* *blows more shit up*

-*This is the LAST CHAPTER, and the author can't be more creative with this.*-

-*It's just sad.*-

-*...*-

-*Completely inexcusable.*-

-*...*-

-*...Everyone's dead.*-

_-later-_

-*Everyone's not dead? (surprise!)*-

_-...Still in the school yard...-_

**Mello: ***drunk as fuck* Hay loooooooouk, a pwETTy!...

**Everyone: ***looks up*

*A giant meteor is coming towards the school*

**Everyone: **OOOOOOOOO~

*Crash.*

*Burn.*

*Die.*

ENDE.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: _"The end of a journey is always depressing. It was a long trip, but now that it's over, it seemed like a blink of an eye. Anyway, it's been fun; if it's meant to be, I hope we meet again."_**


End file.
